How to Escape From The Void

Stop trying to escape Stay there There is so much agony in the revelation That you are the void And so much power Preen your glorious midnight feathers Take a dip within your own murky depths It goes on forever So easy to get lost in the darkness So put in a lamp or two…

A Prize For Not Killing Yourself

You don’t get a prize for not killing yourself You have to make the prize yourself From the slanted gold light that cuts between the drab houses and hits you right in the eye as you’re driving down your street, on your way home from a few odd errands, bags of cheese and ice cream…

Paper Girl

I just want to exist in the world. I want to be true to myself. But I can’t do both and survive. I never learned to be a cog. To shut of my personality and my beliefs so I could fit in. I’m not a good liar. The mask I’ve worn has always mostly looked…

Sundaes

I’ve had my fair share of sundaes. Often, in a greedy, childish way, just because I could. I’ve left the odd lover with ice cream dripping down their fist, cone in irredeemable shards. For a long time I just wanted to be wanted and would jump at any opportunity to reward someone for taking interest…

Crisis Residential

These are water colors I did when I was in a crisis residential unit. If I can get myself to do art when I feel bad it really helps to get some of the feelings out. Crisis units are good because they don’t treat you like criminals, understandably, because it’s a lower level of care…

Hanging By A Thread

I don’t feel well today. I feel scared. I worked really hard to get to this place, but I’m all too aware that it’s just a few steps back to the shadows for me. I know part of my problem is that when I feel bad I don’t believe I will ever feel good again….

Rise and Shine

You ever feel like nothing you do will ever be good enough? Like the relentless march of days is speeding by at break-neck speed and all you can do is crawl? Like maybe the whole world is huffing amphetamines in the bathroom while you struggle to get out of bed? I used to feel this…

The Heaven Within

Lately I’ve been trying to “get in touch with” my spirituality. I call, I email, I send emoji packed text messages. Naw, but really. I grew up with an atheist father and though my mother took us to Quaker meeting for a while when we were kids she wasn’t really religious either. In my family…