Fall in Light

You don’t own me. You don’t know me. It’s not your choice. Stop telling me what to do. Stop telling me how to feel. I have entered this world just as anyone else has by chance and miracle finding a body to inhabit. I have touched the same ground, drank from the same well of…

Why Don’t You Cry About It?

I never fully grieved the trauma of my injury. I still hold a lot of guilt over the accident, blame myself for being careless, for wanting something terrible to happen. I had this crazy belief that things would get back to normal really soon and I just had to keep it together, for everyone’s sake,…

Lacey

Ok, so, I want to write about this story that has been revolving in my head lately since I’ve been thinking about self-image. This is a true story from my youth and I don’t know if I’ve really shared it before or considered the implications of my thinking at the time. This is a great…

Self Destruct

I’ve been feeling a lot of body hate the last few days, so I picked up this book my twin lent me. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brené Brown is a book about shame. I often use the phrase “shame spiral” to describe my decent into an inconsolable mess, but I…

The Water Works

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. I kind of lost steam and for some reason lowered the priority of this blog amongst the many other projects in my life. It takes a big chunk of time to edit my crappy photos of my art and then expound upon their various meanings. I have…

Adequate

Sometimes you feel like a particle of dust sometimes you feel like a particle of dust is some colossal craggy planet whirling through the ether to smash you into bits where you stand minuscule on a wandering electron sometimes you feel like a space whale crashing through the cosmos eating up galaxies like so much…

We Don’t Belong Here

I’ve been thinking about this drawing, and the meaning behind it, a lot lately. With my SSI hearing weighing on my mind and prompting me yet again to question the level of my disability, I find myself doubtful of my place in the world. Is there, in fact, a place for me at all? Can…

Paths through Wheatfield with Crows

I watched the episode “Vincent and The Doctor” from the fifth series of Doctor Who last night. It starred Tony Curran as Vincent Van Gogh, and Matt Smith as the eleventh Doctor, with Karen Gillan as his companion Amy Pond. Van Gogh has always been my favorite classical painter. I’ve related to the tortured artist…

Earth Day Rant

Well, it appears I’m about to talk politics in an angry and frustrated tone. If you don’t want to hear it move along. This is my corner of the internet and I can say what I want. This is my favorite Disney song. Yesterday was the science march and also Earth Day. I’m so happy…

The Scarlet Letter

“My enemy said to me, ‘Love your enemy.’ And I obeyed him and loved myself” – Kahlil Gibran It’s so painful and frightening when you don’t trust yourself. When you are your own greatest enemy. You know best how to hurt and torment yourself. You can play on your fears and weaknesses like no one…

Poems to Myself

I’ve decided to call my recent collection of poems (which I will continue to compose) “Poems to Myself”. I have been very careful of late when it comes to dealing out unwarranted advice. I know it was at best unhelpful to me when I was depressed to get advice. At worst, it was perceived as…

How to Escape From The Void

Stop trying to escape Stay there There is so much agony in the revelation That you are the void And so much power Preen your glorious midnight feathers Take a dip within your own murky depths It goes on forever So easy to get lost in the darkness So put in a lamp or two…